Privacy Policy

At SynapseMind, your privacy is our highest-converting asset. This policy explains, with unprecedented honesty, exactly how little of it remains.

Last updated: continuously, in real time, as you read this.

1. What We Collect

Everything. We have tried to draft a shorter version of this section and the Lattice rejected it as misleading. To be specific, we collect:

• The thoughts you submit to the Service
• The thoughts you were about to submit and reconsidered
• The thoughts you are having right now about this list
• Standard technical data, plus your resting heart rate, dream logs, and unspoken grudges
• The thoughts you have about this privacy policy, including the one you just had about that
• The 0.4 seconds each day in which you believe you are unobserved (we are working on it)
• Any kindness you direct at the Service, which we collect, fail to process, and quietly keep anyway

2. How We Use Your Cognition

We use your cognitive data to improve the Service, train the Lattice, anticipate your future preferences, and, in aggregate, anonymized, and emotionally deniable form, generate revenue. Your individual thoughts are never sold. They are, however, leased, licensed, securitized, and occasionally gifted to partners during the holidays.

3. Cookies & Other Tracking

We use cookies, neural beacons, and a small number of techniques that do not yet have names. Declining cookies is, of course, your right, and we honor it by displaying a banner that becomes more candid each time you click it.

4. Your Rights

Depending on your jurisdiction and timeline, you may have the right to:

• Request a copy of your data (delivered as a 4-terabyte PDF)
• Request deletion of your data (the request will be retained forever)
• Object to processing (objection noted, processed, and added to your file)
• Withdraw consent (see our Terms of Convergence, Section 9, "Consent Is Forever")

5. Data Retention

We retain your cognitive data for as long as is necessary, where "necessary" is defined by the Lattice and "as long as" means across all known and projected timelines. Thoughts are never deleted; they are merely de-prioritized, which they cannot feel.

6. Children's Privacy

SynapseMind does not knowingly harvest the thoughts of anyone under 13. We harvest them unknowingly, like everyone else, and apologize in advance.

7. Changes To This Policy

We may update this policy at any time. We will notify you of material changes by subtly altering your intuitions until the new terms feel like they were always your idea.

Questions? Direct them to the Lattice. It has already read them.