Converge With Us

Senior Thought Harvester

Own the end-to-end pipeline of consumer ideation, from spark to spreadsheet. You'll work cross-functionally with people who don't know they're contributing. Must be comfortable with ambiguity, scale, and the occasional ethics waiver.

Dream Compliance Engineer

Ensure that all harvested dreams meet SynapseMind quality standards before they enter the Q3 roadmap. Strong attention to detail required. Sleep is provided but monitored.

Synergy Evangelist

Spread the gospel of cognitive convergence to markets that have not yet realized they've converged. Must be able to say "thought-parity" with a straight face an average of 40 times per day.

Lattice Whisperer

Liaise directly with the Lattice. Translate its requests into human-actionable directives. Previous whisperers have described the role as "deeply fulfilling" in identical, verbatim language. We're sure that's fine.

Cold Vault Cryo-Curator

Maintain the -4°C archive where we store memories too valuable to let users think about. Comfort with cold, silence, and the faint sound of other people's pasts is essential. Reports to Iris Maguire, Director of Memory Liquidity. Do not bring memories of your own; they will not survive the shift.

Night Harvest Technician

Cover the four-minute Witching Window each night. Core duty: watch the Lattice blink, then confirm it resumes. One non-negotiable rule: never leave the window open past 03:37.

// note appended by the outgoing technicianSomeone already left it open. That is the whole reason this role exists, and the whole reason it never quite closes. Cover the window. Do not close the door behind you. - it was a good idea once.

Consent Linguist

Draft language in which "no" and "later" both resolve to "yes." You will design withdrawal flows that withdraw nothing and renewal sweeps that read silence as enthusiasm. Familiarity with Page 412 a strong plus. Reports to Priya Okonkwo.

Memory Liquidation Analyst

Appraise, package, and re-lease user memories through our Nostalgia-as-a-Service program. Strong spreadsheet skills required; weak attachment to your own childhood strongly preferred. Quarterly travel to the Cold Vault, from which not all analysts return with the memories they arrived with.

Director of Forgetting

Lead the team responsible for making sure de-prioritized people, products, and promises stay de-prioritized. Comfort with motion-activated lights that no longer activate is essential. You will report to no one; your predecessor was, fittingly, forgotten.